Finding my Focus

Finding my Focus

Since I was a freshman in high school I have dreamed of building a castle here in America. It is a dream many people have and many have done in one form or another. Ever since the beginning mine has been a dream of something that is a blend of the historical castle and our modern world. My dream has always been about more than just a cool house to live in as well, it has been about the people I want to include. I dream of creating a community where people can come learn, live and enjoy life.

blog-challenge-badge-12     This blog post is in response to Natalie’s 10 Day Freedom Plan Blog Challenge Day 1 Find it here! I have been following her for a while now and have finally come to the point of jumping into the life I have always dreamed of.

The three biggest challenges I face are:

Fear

Distraction

Perfection

We all struggle with our impressions from childhood, our inner child is what determines so many of our reactions to the world around us. First let me say that I am one of the lucky ones and that I had a fantastic childhood and wonderful parents. I have an auditory processing disorder, what that means is I have difficulty understanding speech in noisy environments, following directions, and distinguishing between similar sounds. My personal explanation is when I hear something it takes a long tour of my brain getting to where it needs to go. This means I have bad grammar issues. I have a fear of writing, that is why I am writing now, to work on conquering that fear.

I naturally fear failure itself. This is my dream, a vision I have carried with me for years. It is also a goal I know many people have tried to do before me and failed. I hope I can be different. I know that if I do not work towards my goal with all my effort that I will not be living my life to the fullest. So off I go on my journey I am letting go of my sewing business and moving on to pursuing my dream.

Distraction I am so good at distraction. One of my favorite words is minutiae: precise details; small or trifling matters. I love details, they are what make the difference between a simple unfinished looking project and a polished work of art no matter what field. But as an artist I know that there is a point of overworking something. Planning can be a wonderful tool and give you a path to follow but planning can also drag on and on and prevent action.

Perfection for me can be a form of distraction. I love making people happy. Sometimes to the point of sacrificing my own happiness and needs. I am a mother thru and thru. One of my dear friends gave me that wonderful complement ‘You’re good at being a mother, which has been the case since well before you actually became a mother. You’re good at responding to someone’s emotional needs.’ Family, Friends, and those that are both are all important to me. But it is a challenge because I will put them first.

Fear, Distraction, and Perfection sometimes they all blend together. They are all aspects of what holds me back most often. That is changing as I find my focus.

4c316ea2ae01be634bc9783ca982f55f  Now is the time for me to Act. I have a plan in place and I am ready to work it thru. I am continually amazed at how things fall into place when you start pursuing your dreams. Yoda is right all you can do is put effort in and keep aiming for your goal.

I am aiming for my castle, and I will help as many people as I can along the way.